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Walk in a single-file line, in step with the person in front of you.
When you come to the benches in the middle of the mall, walk on top of them instead of going around them.
Ask the salespeople in the stores where the uniforms they wear are sold in the store (for example, in Bath and Body Works ask where you can buy their vests)
Ride a hobby-horse around the mall, holding the reins and yelling, "Whoa Betsy!"
Talk in third person at all times.
Carry a Pez dispenser and offer strangers a Pez.
Wear camouflage and sneak around like you think no one can see you.
If the loudspeaker comes on, tell the voices in your head to shut up.
When asked if you need help continue yelling out "WHAT?!?!"
Wear a fake sheriff badge and carry around a stack of post-it notes writing up tickets and warnings to people walking down the mall.
Randomly throw temper tantrums.
Walk 5 ft. behind someone at all times. When he/she enters a store wait at the entrance of the store until he/she comes back out.
When walking, walk in a perfectly straight line, only turning at 90 degree angles.
Add "ong" to the end of every word you use when you speak to the salespeople.
In every store you enter that is not a department store, ask where the lingerie department is.
Be a still model in a store that doesn't sell clothes.
Accuse someone of stealing your bag.
Go in 579 and ask for size 13.
Skip or gallop wherever you go.
Say punctuation out loud. For example, say, "Ma'am comma would you please help me find a pink comma red comma and blue shirt question mark?"
At all times pretend to have an imaginary friend. When asked if you need help begin by gesturing to the air next to you and saying, "Well, my friend here..."
Go in a store with a friend who pretends to be deaf. Ask the salesperson if he/she will help your deaf friend find the right clothes while you go to the bathroom.
When in the bathroom stall suddenly exclaim, "Corn! When did I eat corn?"
Wear a motorcycle helmet and have a bike lock. Pretend to park your motorcycle when you enter a store.
Carry a tablecloth and picnic basket. Order take-out at the Food Court and spread out you tablecloth in the middle of the mall and enjoy your meal.
When asked "May I help you?" bow or curtsey.
Walk up to someone you don't know and pretend to know them. Continue for as long as you can.
Take a tootsie pop and hold it like a microphone in a person's face. Ask him/her how many licks it takes him/her to get to the center of a tootsie pop.
Ask a passerby to scratch your back for you. If they do, make obscene noises when they do so.
Try to get everybody in line for Chick-fil-a to do the Chicken Dance.
Go with a friend. Join yourselves together with one of those things parents attach to their children's wrists.
If you're a female, drag your purse behind you. Pull on it and pat your leg, saying "Hurry up old boy!"
Ask the cashier if you could ring your purchase up.
Ask if they accept credit cards and then pay cash.
Bargain
Barter
Carry a rubber duckey with you. Pet him, talk in a baby voice to him, and set him down gently on the counter when you pay.
In the food court ask if this seat is taken and then walk away.
Carry around a can of EasyCheese. Randomly ask people, "Would you like cheese with that?"
When walking down the center of the mall point at nothing and start laughing hysterically.
Put down every store loudly as you exit by saying, "THIS PLACE SUCKS!"
Take a baby doll with you and ask bystanders to baby-sit while you try on clothes.
Constantly move your mouth as if you were talking.
Sing opera-style everything you would normally say.
Ask the Dollar Store if they have a lay-away plan.
Buy one jelly bean at the candy store and have them weigh it.
Take a Big Wheels and wear leather.
Be very hostile when someone asks to help you.
Walk in a weave (crossing each others path), this keeps strangers away, the more the better! Also, yell at those things that people put money in, and take the money out.
Go in a store and ask a lot of question about one product. In the middle of the explination, walk out.
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